I've been there many times before. Here now. Same as yesterday. The dreaded malaise. That tug boat carrying the massive ship, acting as a buffer from the uncertain edges. Merely shepherding the load.
i spent months thinking about Sysiphus. An ancient man who committed sins and in atonement, was Punished to carry a rock up a mountain. Only to watch it roll back down before carrying it up again. Repeat.
even now I wonder if I have wrote on this before. Repeat repeat.
Like today. And yeaterday. Same dilemma. Similar malaise. Same same. Been there. Been here.
and always a repeat of the last. Let it sit. Not fester. Be patient. No pills, no therapy. No guilt tripping. Just wait. And roll.
Imagine a punch in the guts. Imagine a fist clenched for a day.
Then think of Sysiphus, standing on that hill after pushing that Boulder up it. For a moment, a solitary moment, success. And joy.
Breathe that in.
For whatever comes will, and the pattern shall repeat. And repeat. And repeat.
And always dream of what's next.