Been there

I've been there many times before. Here now. Same as yesterday. The dreaded malaise. That tug boat carrying the massive ship, acting as a buffer from the uncertain edges. Merely shepherding the load.

i spent months thinking about Sysiphus. An ancient man who committed sins and in atonement, was Punished to carry a rock up a mountain. Only to watch it roll back down before carrying it up again. Repeat. 

Repeat. 

even now I wonder if I have wrote on this before. Repeat repeat. 

Like today. And yeaterday. Same dilemma. Similar malaise. Same same. Been there. Been here. 

and always a repeat of the last. Let it sit. Not fester. Be patient. No pills, no therapy. No guilt tripping. Just wait. And roll. 

Imagine a punch in the guts. Imagine a fist clenched for a day. 

Then think of Sysiphus, standing on that hill after pushing that Boulder up it. For a moment, a solitary moment, success. And joy.

Breathe that in.

For whatever comes will, and the pattern shall repeat. And repeat. And repeat. 

And always dream of what's next. 

 

 

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Justin Batchelor